Sisters: Are They Necessary?
by Sadie A. Cahill
Summary: "Considering the four points I've made in this essay, I'd say . . . " Dan's seventh-grade class assignment was simple: all he had to do is create a report on a topic he felt strongly about. And that is EXACTLY what he did.


_**Dedicated to Goldenheart11: Happy Birthday!**_

* * *

Name: Dan Cahill  
Teacher: Ms. Golden; Class 739  
Assignment: Write a free-style composition on something in the world that you feel strongly about. One page.

**Sisters: Are they Necessary?**

The basic creation of older sisters is stupid.

I mean, I get that you're _supposed _to like your older sibling because blood runs thicker than water, blah blah blah blah blah.

But there are just too many things that they do that doesn't make sense.

For instance, they get too emotional. Just a few days ago, my older sister and I were watching _Titanic_ (that movie with Leo and Kate and the ugly rich people that remind me of my cousins). Anyway, when we were at the part where Rose was on the raft-thingy and Jack couldn't get on (in my opinion, it was big enough for both of them) . . . well . . .

-**o**-

_"Why can't they both just get on the freaking raft?"_

_"Dan, shut up! I want to hear this part!"  
_

_Dan growled and stared into the television screen. _

_Then the redheaded girl said, "I'll never let go, Jack . . . I promise."  
_

_. . . And she let go of his hand.  
_

_"She said she wouldn't . . . !"  
_

_"DAN!" Amy once again burst into to tears, dabbing at her eyes. "Just for once, please be quiet and allow me to enjoy this beautiful movie."  
_

_"The lady's beautiful, but she's selfish."  
_

_Dan yelped and ran from the room before Amy got a hold of her Advanced Physics textbook._

-**o**-**_  
_**

. . . She and I didn't exactly agree on, um, a certain topic.

Again, sisters get too emotional. If you point out that a boy ditching a girl isn't really that tragic at all, they'll just glare at you and give an entire lecture about how guys nowadays are _so_ inconsiderate of girls' feelings that it is tragic when a girl is alone because someone stood her up.

Allinonebreath.

They also tend to act as if they're _much_ cooler than their "dweebish" little brother in front of their friends. It doesn't make sense—shouldn't it be the other way around? Aren't little brothers supposed to be considered cooler and cuter than their ugly older sisters?

Not if your sisters' friends also have little brothers.

-**o**-

_"My God, Dan, get a grip. We'll get ice-cream _later_."_

_"You said that last time! We never got to go for ice-cream! Or cheese buns!"  
_

_The brunette next to Amy made a face. "Yuck," she said. "You guys like _cheese buns_? Aren't they, like, stuff that makes you fat?"_

_"They're also stuff that tastes good, unlike lettuce," Dan muttered, earning a kick from Amy. She flipped her hair back and smiled at Casey or whatever the brunette's name was.  
_

_"Dan likes the cheese buns. He's obsessed with them," Amy told her.  
_

_Dan glared at his sister. Amy left out the "I like them as well" part. She _loved_ them. Just as much as he did.  
_

_"Ugh, I know," said Brunette, rolling her eyes. "My little brother always has one in his hand. I keep telling him that he'll never get a girlfriend if he eats like a pig."_

_Amy laughed and nodded in agreement, and continued talking about __all of Dan's embarrassing moments. _

_Dan liked her better when she was a loner.  
_

-**o**-

It just adds to the (invisible) list of 'Things that Annoy Awesome Little Brothers': acting like everything they do annoys you. Unless, of course, it's just for the kicks. That's cool—doesn't everyone like to act like someone/something they aren't/like?

Yes, that last sentence probably doesn't make any sense.

Which brings us to our next annoying-older-sister-quality: the fact that they think they know better just 'cause they're bigger, and that they must point out all of your errors.

You see, they never admit it when _they're_ wrong. Whether or not it's grammatical-wise or in a debate. They just don't want to. The thing is . . . while many say that it's usually men who have big egos, people don't realize that _everybody_ does. At one point or another, they get too confident in themselves.

That confidence leads to wars and fights and shoot-everyone-you-see activity. Sometimes.

My sister is one of the biggest geeks I've ever met. Not a cool one either—one that's always droning on about all events in history. The boring type. The type that'll rudely interrupt you in a sentence just to point out that it's "isn't" not "ain't". (And if she read this report, she'll definitely tell me that "that'll" isn't a word, either, along with certain other errors.)

-**o**-

_"Let's review the plan."_

_"We reviewed and reviewed fifty times, Amy."  
_

_"Come on, Dan. If a Vesper were to attack right now - "  
_

_"He would see a girl and boy practicing what would happen if they were to have an attack."  
_

_Amy glared. Dan grinned back.  
_

_"Alright, let's see. If someone crashed through Window B, what do we do?"  
_

_"Run." Daggers seemed to be coming straight out of her eyes. "Fine, we hide out in the hallway and wait for them to come."  
_

_" . . . What did you say?"  
_

_"Was the answer wrong? I said that we have to hide out in—"  
_

_"'Hide out in?""  
_

_"Yeah. . . . "  
_

_"That's not the correct way to say it."  
_

_"Sure it is!"  
_

_"No. And that wasn't even the correct answer. Window B is near the library, so we have to hide out in the library__—_"  


_"You said it! Hide out in!"  
_

_"I did not!"  
_

_"Did too!"  
_

_"Dan, why on earth would I say something that doesn't even make sense?"  
_

_"I don't know why, but you just said it."  
_

_"I didn't__—_"  


_"Amy, if a Vesper were to attack right now . . . "  
_

_She sighed. "He would see two kids arguing over something stupid. Sorry. Let's just go over the plan again."  
_

_"Right."  
_

_" . . . But he would agree with the girl."  
_

-**o**-

Even if you point out that they made the same mistake before, they'll never admit it. Why?

The answer is simple: "I'm older than you, so obviously I'm right." (Of course, they also think that being fifteen is _so_ much greater than being twelve.)

And those, my fellow people, are just some of the annoying qualities that my sisters have.

. . . It would seem as if I am done, right? Wrong. I'm not. Which is surprising because I don't like writing at all (that's what nerdy older sisters like to do).

The thing is_—_sisters aren't just _there_. While their existence might not mean anything to you for a long time, you eventually have to face the fact that life would definitely be boring without them. Who doesn't like to fight (I mean _debate_) once in awhile? Brings more excitement, doesn't it?

But when you're fighting with someone else (a non-family member), things tend to get more violent. Words become punches and punches become black-eyes. It gets messy, as you can see. Especially when there's no one to stop you. No one to protect you.

. . . Older sisters. _They're_ there to protect you.

-**o**-

_"Get away from my brother!"_

_Amy grabbed Dan by the shoulders, and lifted him up to his feet. She kept a strong arm around Dan's waist, drawing him back from jumping at the other boy.  
_

_"You tell_ your_ brother to get away from me!" shouted Bobby McCain, one of the biggest idiots and not-so-funny goofballs in school. _

_Amy grabbed both boys by their necks like kittens, locking them into place a good three feet away from each other.  
_

_"What's wrong with you guys?" she asked. "Why'd you even start in the first place?"  
_

_"He . . . he . . . " Dan couldn't seem to get the words out. Now that he thought about it, it seemed stupid that he had decided to fight in the first place.  
_

_"Did he insult your obsession with ninjas again? Seriously, Dan." Amy sighed, as if actually believing that Dan would risk suspension just because someone spoke in the name of Ninja Lords in vain.  
_

_"God, Danny." Bobby was laughing now. "Chill out. And you gotta stop being such a math geek and nerd____—_" 

Snap. _Dan had his eyes shut tight and only heard that quick cracking sound, something that resembled a tooth cracking. He opened his eyes and found Amy hovering over Bobby, who was on the ground, with her fist to her side. __  
_

_"Amy!" Dan protested. "I wasn't in trouble! Now _you're_ gonna be in trouble! And you're supposed to be the better-mannered sibling!" _

_"It's my word over his, Dan." Amy rolled her eyes again, but a smile appeared on her face. "That's so-o-o sweet that you care, but who do you think the principal's gonna believe? Me versus Robert, or _you_ versus him?"_

_She had a point there.  
_

_Dan slowly started backing away. "Want me to call Fiske?"  
_

_"That would be great right about now. I think I see some teachers."  
_

-**o**-_  
_

Like that time when I was nearly beaten to pulp. My sister swooped in outta nowhere and almost literally saved my behind.

Even if it can get annoying at times, at least you know that there's someone you can count on.

Yeah, maybe it _is_ only one positive fact. Wouldn't that mean that the annoying-sides won over? No. What most of us (and by 'us', I mean younger brothers) don't get is that that one quality is equal to twenty of the bad ones.

Sisters are the most ignorant, weirdest, craziest, annoying-est and dorkiest people on earth. But we all have to admit at one point_____—_life would be boring without 'em.

So. Sisters: are they necessary?

Considering the four points I've made in this essay, I'd say . . .

. . . Yes. They are.

* * *

"Well, class. I had a great weekend. What about you?" the teacher asked.

Several seventh graders groaned and banged their heads against the table. Translation for: _get on with it._

"In fact, my weekend was _simply wonderful._ Know what made it wonderful?"

Dan quickly shoved the rubber ball he was making in his desk when Ms. Golden passed by.

"Essays. _Your _essays. I'm very proud. Proud . . . but not surprised. After all, this _is_ the top English class."

_I can't believe I'm even in here_, Dan thought, close to banging his own head with his notebook.

"But there was one that really did catch my eye. One that was very . . . unique."

In front of him, Mary-Sue sat up straight in her seat, and grinned at the back of Ms. Golden's head.

"It was just what I was looking for. Remember, now_____—_I asked for _a free style_ paper. It didn't have to have perfect paragraphs with exactly six sentences."

Dan smirked when Mary-Sue slunk back in her seat.

"The one I chose to read to you today is very interesting. It's short. It talks about something that I think all boys have to deal with, considering the circumstances."

_Good lord. It's a boy who wrote it._

"And it wasn't perfect. I'll admit, there were a few errors with the mechanics and grammar. But what made it perfect _to me_ is the topic and how the author of the essay introduced it. I want you all to pay attention to how the author expresses his thoughts and the way he organized his report."

Dan had already taken out his notebook, prepared to take notes. After all, that's what they did _everysingleday_ in Ms. Golden's class.

"I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did. I know you will."

Ms. Golden turned around, and beamed at Dan directly, causing him to frown. What was that crazy teacher up to _this_ time?

The teacher cleared her throat and began. "Sisters: Are They Necessary?"

The blonde-haired boy's jaw dropped five feet to the ground.

* * *

**A/N:** I'd like you all to shout "HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOLDENHEART11!" . . . Okay, her birthday's not until October 3, but I'll be busy then, so I published this story _now_. Let me just say that I had a better one planned. A Jonah/Hamilton story. (Friendship; not romance, obviously.) And then I lost it. After recovering from my heart attack, I quickly typed this in 20 minutes tops. Why am I saying this? Because I know that it must have ohsomany errors. (Also, the things in italic aren't part of Dan's essay. They're just memories connected to it. And I don't hate _Titanic_. I really love that movie.)

Overall, I hope everyone did enjoy this. Especially you, Goldie, my dearest Fanfiction friend.

(By the way, did anyone catch that little joke I made? 'Class 739'. Include it in your review if you did.)


End file.
